Santa is tired of cookies & milk
Poor Santa, how many sugar cookies & glasses of milk can one jolly fat man actually stomach?
Maybe if the milk is laced with some good bourbon or Kaluha, then the sugar cookies will be more palatable. Or forget the sugar cookies. Maybe Rudolph and friends would like them providing the cookies don’t have xylitol. Raw carrots are suggested for the reindeer.
I heard from one of the elves that not everyone serves Santa the same menu.
In Britain and Australia, he is sometimes given sherry and mince pies instead.
In Sweden and Norway, children leave rice porridge.
In Ireland it is popular to give him Guinness or milk, along with Christmas pudding or mince pies.
Santa has a penchant for raw cookie dough which can create a health hazard and on this night of nights, we want Mr. White Beard to remain healthy.
If Santa goes to a house where Italian culture is celebrated, he might find cold pizza pie and a glass of vino.
Oops, just how high can his blood alcohol content be? Can he get a DUI? That would be bad for business.
If the jolly fat man goes to a Hispanic household, he is treated to churros and Mexican hot chocolate. Okay, now we’re talking.
At an Indian household and if the family celebrates Christmas, Santa might get a mug of soothing Chai.
In a French household, St. Nick is treated to a flute of champagne and chocolate croissant. I bet those kids get some great presents. Oui!
If Chinese children celebrate Christmas, they leave behind a pot of jasmine tea and some good fortune cookies. Hopefully, Santa’s bladder is ironclad.
Santa’s fortune cookie: The night is still young. Keep smiling and working hard until you prosper. Mrs. Claus expects you home no later than 2 a.m. – sober. 6, 11, 22, 29, 38, 41
In Texas or Arizona, Santa will probably get shot at as an unidentified moving object. Shoot now and ask questions later.